Friday, December 27, 2013

'Twas the night before Christmas

'Twas the day before Christmas and so much to get done
Shopping, baking cookies and other holiday fun.
A morning run around town with my family of four
Doctor's office, hot donuts and final holiday deals to score.
After lunch there was no time for Dad to talk,
He drove off to the farm to take his rifle for a walk.

The kids decorated the tree and made baked goods
While Daddy sat in a swaying tree up high in the woods.
As I pulled from the oven a pan of Christmas Crack
I waited to receive a photo of a deer with a nice big rack.
Imagine my surprise when the photo did arrive,
but it was a big ol' turkey, no longer alive.
With hints of changing plans for Christmas dinner
I thought starvation might be a good way to get thinner.
As dusk fell and Christmas Eve dinner was ready
Daddy came home, proud of his shot so deadly.

Dinner complete and the final presents covered in wrap,
We put the kids to bed hoping for a long winter's nap.
It was now time to do the deed,
Time to clean the fowl shot this holiday eve.
Pluck, scald, pluck, and gut is what I was told
Fine, you go do it out in the cold.
You make the kill, you must harvest
though I did feel a little bad it was out in the darkness.
As I snuck outside to document with a picture,
I was to receive no less than a brief lecture.

Fine, it was disgusting but true
It was too late and too cold for one plucker to do.
I threw on a warm jacket and found latex gloves
For surely this was one thing I would not do as he does.
We plucked in the dark for as long as we could
then inside with the turkey for our collective good
A little more defeathering then it was time
to remove the guts while acting like we were fine.
There is no way I could do it, but I must admit
It was cool to see the heart but only for a bit.

About twelve pounds in size, but not in the end
A little too long in the scald she did spend.
I despise hunters that kill just for the sport
You must use something for a life cut short.
So boneless, skinless, fillets we made
And also saved two huge turkey legs.
Into the freezer the meat went
Time to clean up and prepare for tomorrow's main event!
Loaded with presents the tree was a beautiful sight!
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

Turkey in the woods! Turkey in the woods! 

Oh, pluck it.

Merry Christmas from our family to yours!

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