Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Pottytime at Hummingbird Farm

The farmhouse has two full baths. Actually, let me rephrase that. The farmhouse had two full baths and acreage.

There is a full bath upstairs, with a shower stall. I keep it stocked with paper, and it's in what we consider the safe room for the kids. If we are working inside, they can play and watch movies in there, have a picnic style lunch, and have a close bathroom.

The second full bath isn't really a full bath anymore, nor does it have the same level of privacy that most bathrooms do. Back on demolition day, the shower/living room wall was torn down and the bathtub removed. The sink was ripped out, and I've since taken it to a Habitat for Humanity ReStore. The bathroom has three walls, once of which still has a door. A door that is almost pointless. Closing the door will shield you from anyone that happens to walk into the house and the dining room, where the bath opens to, but anyone can walk around to the living room and there you are!

According to Genevieve, the downstairs bath also has dragons in the ceiling. Who really wants to have dragons watch them do their business?

I do. I prefer to have the dragons watch. When you are busy working outside, it's a whole heck of a lot easier to run in and run out then run in then up to take care of business. Although I'm not worried about the insulation dragon in the ceiling. I'm always scanning the dirt hole in the living room floor for some kind of creature. Therefore, the dragon bathroom is creepy, but still 'better' than going upstairs.

Unless you are a guy. Because guys pee on trees. And bushes. And bugs. And grass. And are oh so helpful when it's time to put out the fire. This time, I am talking about Ghon and Jonathan. Those two will hose down anything. To note, I do have a picture of Jonathan watering a tree. But his little butt is bare, so I won't post THAT pic.

But us girls have it a little harder. We can't aim. And as the kids remind each other all the time, only Daddy and Jonathan have penises.

Genevieve is a porcelain princess. She wants to go All. The. Time. Seriously. I can't make a trip to the store without at least one potty stop. A meal out? Count on two. I'm glad she stays pretty dry, but I'm tired of my grand tour of Winchester bathrooms.

Since the dragon bathroom scares Genevieve, she won't go in the house alone to go. So all work stops to take her in. So I taught her how to go pee on the grass. We'd already did it a few times during potty training and long car rides, but now we have it down to a science. The only problem is when we are at a public park, she announces that she has to go potty and tries to drop her pants right there to go. That is a no-no.

The only consistency in using the dragon bathroom is for poop. 'Cause that is a bit harder to do outside when you are a kid. Hell, I wouldn't be interested in doing it as an adult. When it's time to go poo, it's always off to the dragon bathroom. Where I have to turn on all the lights, scan for creatures, and have no place to sit and wait for that magical moment. If you have children, you know this adventure could take a while. Well, at least it can with my two.

So if you stop by Hummingbird Farm, you have a few options for handling #1. Find a tree. Walk upstairs. Use the dragon bathroom. If you are concerned about #2, I'd recommend going up. My potty campers could be headed in at any moment, and well, you would be left pretty exposed.

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