I could make this the shortest post ever and simply say, go see The Greatest Showman and be ready to learn everything you can from it.
But that's not me.
Family Friday, we opted to go to the movies. Split decision between The Greatest Showman and Jumanji. Because Jumanji was sold out when we arrived, Showman it was.
The kids and I have seen quite a few movies in the last year, especially in the last two months. Many kid movies have a hidden lesson and sometimes the kids pick up on them, sometimes they don't. Sometimes I'm a good mom and try to talk about a theme if they don't and well, sometimes, I don't. Once and a while, it's good to let a movie be a movie.
Last week we saw Ferdinand, and at the last line of the movie, I started crying. I wasn't expecting to leave The Greatest Showman and feel the way I did. I laughed and I cried.
I'm so damn emotional.
I went to the movies expecting to learn a little via dramatization about PT Barnum, the circus life, and watch Hugh Jackman. Jonathan sat down, ordered his pizza and waited begrudgingly, as he wanted to see Jumanji. Genevieve was excited, but I don't think she really knew why. When we left, Jonathan was impressed and agreed it was a good movie. When I told him Barnum was Wolverine, his mind was blown. Genevieve kept asking if we could buy it, and when we could see it again. I literally couldn't wait to get home to buy the soundtrack; it was downloaded before we were on our street.
Most of our way home we talked about what we could learn from the movie. We didn't discuss business practices or animal cruelty in depth. We discussed basic human rights and to love and respect all people.
We talked about how sure, Barnum was in to earn a dollar because the circus performers were different, but in the end, they were a family. That their uniqueness made them special. That people came to see them and in the end, were entertained and appreciated them. That the kindness of a disfigured woman helped inspire Barnum to employ these people.
We talked about how it is important to treat everyone we meet with respect. That it doesn't matter what size you are, what you look like, or how much money you have, what matters is how you treat other people. We talked about what it feels like to be treated differently and how it hurts. We honored the fact that sure, sometimes it may be hard not to stare at someone that looks different, but we should try not to - and just because they look different, doesn't mean we should be rude or disrespectful.
We talked about how it is important to help all people. That being kind, friendly, and giving isn't just for holidays or when you have more than enough. That sharing and giving to people who need it more than you is important.
We talked about how family is important. Whether it be the family you create and are born into, or the family you choose, like the circus performers. That when you are kind and loving, you will always have support.
We talked about the protesters and why they weren't happy. How times were different then and in some ways not so different now. We talked about why Philip and Anne were hesitant at times with their relationship because of how people looked at them because of the difference in the color of their skin. I shared with them a recent example where one of our friends was concerned about the same scenario. The kids were shocked that it was even a concern and happy to hear that in the end, there was no issue. I told them how lucky we are that don't always have to be worried about what people think about us because of the color of our skin and they should never treat anyone different due to the color of theirs.
We talked at length, as we often do, that it is important to be who you are and to do the right thing. That just because someone is being a bully or mean, you don't have to be to. Stand up for the person being put down. Be kind to everyone we met.
We talked about having dreams or goals and how with a little work and dedication you can achieve them. That when everything is handed to you and you don't have to work for things it is hard to appreciate what you have and that sometimes, you can't even find happiness.
I think at one point I heard them reciting something close to their school pillars of character, so I added be ready to learn.
Be ready to learn. Learn who you are. Learn how to be a good person. Learn how to help others. Learn about other people so you don't have to be an ignorant fool. Embrace diversity and respect your peers. There is too much hate, darkness, and loneliness in this world. Be the light. Give others hope by being a decent human being to everyone. Is it really so hard?
We've been singing the songs all day. Songs about giving a chance on living life a different way, songs about being true to yourself, songs about dreams, and songs about love - a love that has no boundaries and is possible despite the odds - if given a chance.
So much of what I've learned in the last year about myself was summed up in this movie if you take a moment to reflect. Be good. Be yourself. Love others. If we all just took a moment to be quiet and listen and learn from those around us rather than be quick to judge, where would we be?
Take a moment. Think about how you could have treated someone with more respect. How could you have given more of yourself to someone that needed it? How could you have changed someone's life if you only listened before acting? Where would you be if you didn't give up?
Think about those moments. Learn from them. Grow from them. Smile at someone that may not expect it. Befriend someone that has none. Don't be afraid to love. Give, even when you don't think you have anything to offer. You will be rewarded. I promise you.
Go see The Greatest Showman, and be ready to learn everything you can from it.
Saturday, January 6, 2018
Monday, January 1, 2018
Be More Patient
A couple weeks ago, I was giving consideration to a year in review post, but I never sat down to do it. Then it occurred to me about a week ago that I haven't posted anything in while. As I thought about it, I realized that most of my posts happen when I'm in a particularly emotional spot, and it's not always a good one.
Welcome to today's post.
A year ago, I shared my thoughts on celebrity death and how reactions to these deaths compared to my grief process as related to Ghon. It seemed to resonate with a lot of people, getting plenty of comments here and on my Facebook page. Today though, it wasn't so much my post alone, but that a friend of mine had shared the post last year and quoted the following line:
With every end, there is a new beginning. How fitting for a post at the end of the year?
2017 brought an end to the year of "firsts" in respect to grief and ushered in the year of seconds. And seconds can be just as bad, if not worse than firsts. The support isn't the same. People don't ask how you are doing or are maybe afraid to ask. Anniversaries and holidays come - and go - that doesn't change. Some were a little easier, some things sucked just as much, if not more than year one.
This time of year is hard. In six weeks, I get to deal with Ghon's birthday, Christmas, New Year's and my birthday. It's hard because these are things I always liked and Ghon always hated. OK, maybe he didn't hate drinking on NYE but I wasn't something I was into. He hated fanfare of birthdays, and I liked making a big deal of them. He was a self proclaimed horrible shopper for my birthday, some years forgetting it completely. He hated Christmas, ever since the holiday changed for him after his mom's death as a child. Christmas was exciting for me, even more so with kids, and not just from a Santa perspective, because he doesn't do much here. It's about the birth of Jesus and giving for me, and that's what I teach the kids.
It may sound like Ghon's feelings would make getting through the birthdays and holidays easier. In some ways, it does; but in others, it's harder. There is still a void even if it's a void of a negative energy. I try to fill it with positive energy, but there are still moments I get down. Despite living in a fictional world where I am Wonder Woman, I am but a mere mortal with overwhelming emotions.
This holiday season, the kids and I did less, but in many ways did more. Our decorations were minimal, the number of holiday themed activities we did greatly decreased, and we has less visitors. These changes are largely OK; perhaps I crammed too much in last year so that we couldn't think about the Ghon's death. Jonathan and Genevieve have grown so much in the past year - I let them help make the decisions on what we did and when. I gave them the chance to think about the impact of their choices and letting them lead the way on when to relax and when to go out.
Yet, we did more. We spent a little more time together. We spent more time giving to others. We remembered that the holidays are not about what you get, but what you give, especially to those without or those without expectation. We made new traditions and carried out or modified old. Never in my life would I think I'd be at the movie theater on Christmas Day - but this year, I was.
Life is about taking chances and making memories. Take the trip, eat the cake. No Ragrets!
2017 In Review
Life will happen. The things that are meant to be, will be. I will live; I will learn; I will fail and I will succeed. I will be the light, I will feel the dark. But I won't get any of it if I I don't believe and be patient. As I shared with a friend recently, I know I was made for more; to do more, be more, give more. To be loved more. I just have to do some work, be me, and be more patient.
My beginning isn't defined by the year, but with every chance I take. And I'm looking forward to taking more chances this year. Anyone want to join me on the ride? Don't be afraid to find your beginning. Live your life, make your happy happen.
Welcome to today's post.
A year ago, I shared my thoughts on celebrity death and how reactions to these deaths compared to my grief process as related to Ghon. It seemed to resonate with a lot of people, getting plenty of comments here and on my Facebook page. Today though, it wasn't so much my post alone, but that a friend of mine had shared the post last year and quoted the following line:
With every end, there is a new beginning. As with every death; an end - there is life; a beginning.
With every end, there is a new beginning. How fitting for a post at the end of the year?
2017 brought an end to the year of "firsts" in respect to grief and ushered in the year of seconds. And seconds can be just as bad, if not worse than firsts. The support isn't the same. People don't ask how you are doing or are maybe afraid to ask. Anniversaries and holidays come - and go - that doesn't change. Some were a little easier, some things sucked just as much, if not more than year one.
This time of year is hard. In six weeks, I get to deal with Ghon's birthday, Christmas, New Year's and my birthday. It's hard because these are things I always liked and Ghon always hated. OK, maybe he didn't hate drinking on NYE but I wasn't something I was into. He hated fanfare of birthdays, and I liked making a big deal of them. He was a self proclaimed horrible shopper for my birthday, some years forgetting it completely. He hated Christmas, ever since the holiday changed for him after his mom's death as a child. Christmas was exciting for me, even more so with kids, and not just from a Santa perspective, because he doesn't do much here. It's about the birth of Jesus and giving for me, and that's what I teach the kids.
It may sound like Ghon's feelings would make getting through the birthdays and holidays easier. In some ways, it does; but in others, it's harder. There is still a void even if it's a void of a negative energy. I try to fill it with positive energy, but there are still moments I get down. Despite living in a fictional world where I am Wonder Woman, I am but a mere mortal with overwhelming emotions.
This holiday season, the kids and I did less, but in many ways did more. Our decorations were minimal, the number of holiday themed activities we did greatly decreased, and we has less visitors. These changes are largely OK; perhaps I crammed too much in last year so that we couldn't think about the Ghon's death. Jonathan and Genevieve have grown so much in the past year - I let them help make the decisions on what we did and when. I gave them the chance to think about the impact of their choices and letting them lead the way on when to relax and when to go out.
Yet, we did more. We spent a little more time together. We spent more time giving to others. We remembered that the holidays are not about what you get, but what you give, especially to those without or those without expectation. We made new traditions and carried out or modified old. Never in my life would I think I'd be at the movie theater on Christmas Day - but this year, I was.
Life is about taking chances and making memories. Take the trip, eat the cake. No Ragrets!
2017 In Review
- Secured a mortgage in my name
- Drove to Connecticut so the kids could compete in a chili cook-off
- Watched my step-son get married
- Bought a car on my own
- Vacationed with the kids in New York City and a quick trip into Boston - and a LONG ride home.
- Had a one year memorial service for Ghon
- Re-homed our goats
- Saw more movies in the theater than probably the last 5 years combined
- Became a pig landlord
- Visited the White House for the Spring Garden Tour and two months later, toured the inside
- Went to at least eight concerts; seeing NKOTB, Paula Abdul, Boyz II Men, Volbeat, Metallica, Avenged Sevenfold, Andy Grammer, The Perceptionists, Janet Jackson, Taylor Swift, The Chainsmokers, Liam Payne, Demi Lovato, Fall Out Boy, Sam Smith, Ed Sheeran, Nial Horan and so many more... some with the kids, some with friends, and some all on my own.
- Got four new tattoos by 3 different artists in 3 states
- Had my first month long work deployment experience
- Made several new friends
- Took the kids to Reno, NV to compete in the ICS World Championship Chili Cook-off
- Did some serious Black Friday shopping for the first time in years
- Broke my cell phone; and its replacement within a week
- Shared my first ever bottle of wine with a friend
- Pulled off a surprise of damn-near epic proportions, to me at least
- Joined an exercise program I loved; left it to make schedule changes better for the kids, and joined a gym
- Donated a ton of stuff - PURGE!
- Watched fireworks in pure bliss
- Saw Kinky Boots on Broadway
- Crocheted again for the first time in years
- Read a few books
- Took a solo trip to NYC
- Walked the Brooklyn Bridge
- Hiked alone in Yosemite National Park
- Drank and listened to music at the Bucket of Blood Saloon (Virginia City, NV)
- Spread part of Ghon's ashes.
- Realized how much I need sunlight and the energy of a city
With every end, there is a new beginning.
This post started two days ago when I was feeling alittle down. Now, it's New Year's Day and I'm feeling OK. Perhaps even hopeful? At a minimum, I'm not really feeling down. Just spending the day cleaning up around the house, relaxing, writing, listening to music, and letting the kids rot their minds with video games. At least they are working on sharing and taking turns.
I'm looking at possibly returning to school and am already working toward earning new certifications at work. I'm going to continue to do more of what makes me happy. My mantra has become if it doesn't hurt me, the kids, or my bank account, I'm doing it. I've started by buying tickets to 3 different concerts. I'd love to be able to see one show a month. I'll start planning summer vacation soon - it's going to be a big trip. I will color more. I will forgive myself more. I will make less excuses. I have to get comfortable with down time - I am on the go too much.
I will continue to be positive; the light when others are in darkness; and allow myself to experience the dark - but not dwell in it.
How fitting, that as I end this post, with the last image already chosen, I hear the following lyrics playing in the background...
If it's meant to be, it'll be, it'll be
Baby, just let it be
If it's meant to be, it'll be, it'll be
Baby, just let it be
So, won't you ride with me, ride with me?
See where this thing goes
If it's meant to be, it'll be, it'll be
Baby, if it's meant to be
My beginning isn't defined by the year, but with every chance I take. And I'm looking forward to taking more chances this year. Anyone want to join me on the ride? Don't be afraid to find your beginning. Live your life, make your happy happen.
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